everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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