I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
