Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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