I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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