i permit you to call me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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