we're blogging at a bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
