found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
