The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
