guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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