His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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