In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
