found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize