Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
