She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
