just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
