i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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