dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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