you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
