I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
