We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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