i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
