Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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