I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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