I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
