Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
