you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Boobs are out for the taking
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
