Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
