I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
