So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
