I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this will be a night to untag.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
