Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
