I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
