is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize