It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
of course. lets lasso hookers.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
