No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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