He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
