Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
