Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
