i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
