I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
