Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
