i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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