I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
