If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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