i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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