I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Quick, to the slutcave!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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