using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
