but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
