Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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