She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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