Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize