Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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