U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Boobs speak an international language.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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