my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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