Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize