Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
