fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
