I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
