Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
