Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize