We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
