he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
