So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
