Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My butt remains clenched, sir.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
