I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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