Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
