Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
