He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need a beard to bite.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
