Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
