good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
