Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You are a genius and a whore.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
