Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
