i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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