He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
