what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
